Hackugan's Brittle Followers
by DasWonderKid
Summary: Ban's world changed when he was introduced to something called Hackugan. Together with his dysfunctional gang, they will embark on an equally dysfunctional adventure to stop the forces of darkness from ruining their world, and this spoof. T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**My first take on a spoof in ages since...God, how long was that? Ten years?****  
**

**Anyway, enjoy (I hope).  
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* * *

**Chapter 1**

_My whole world changed one day when all these random cards started raining down everywhere, though my whole world would've been awesome had it been raining hundred dollar notes instead. I mean, can you imagine how much stuff you can get with a hundred dollars? I'm talking about lots and lots of burgers, watches, clothes, movie passes, hair gels... the list is long enough to cover my whole height!_

_So instead of becoming Richie Riches, we kids invented this cool new game. Sigh, if only they were really hundred dollar notes..._

_That's when we realised those cards weren't so harmless after all. They were packed with incredible powers from another world! Powers that could make a Hogwarts wizard duel look like child's play! And neither our parents, the cops nor the military were doing anything to stop us! Hahahaha!_

_'With great power comes great responsibility'? More like 'With great power comes no responsibility'._

_Together with Bruno (The next American Idol, she claims), Maruckus (youngest brawler, earned first broken teeth last week), Juliet (fallen into Goth lately), Mr Hotshot himself Shunt (three hundred shoulders and counting), and Alleyes (she's watching me, isn't it?)- we are the Hackugan's Brittle Followers!_

_One goal, two worlds! (Sorry, Tarzan)_

* * *

"I'm home!"

Ban burst through the door like an excited dog as he made his way up the stairs to his room, ignorant of the commotion going on in the living hall.

"Don't forget your meal, Ban," his mom, Mrs. Kuso, reminded coolly while pinning a screaming robber against the kitchen counter, his right arm twisted against his back.

Ban entered his room and flung his school bag for the bed, which instead flew out the window and onto his relaxing neighbour's head; all his heavy textbooks weighing his bag like a cinder block. Still unwary of the loud commotion downstairs, he reached for his desk drawer and pulled out a box where he stored all his Hackugan along with his collection of cards- Hackugan, Pokemon, Duel Masters, Digimon, MLB etc.

"Hmm, I wonder which one should take? A Sourus? A Sleepinoid? Oh well, I'll just take 'em all."

Ban stomped down the stairs for the door as his mom called out while locking the robber in a head lock. "Your meal's in the fridge, Ban."

"I'll get to it when I'm back!" Ban replied back as he slammed the door shut, several more loud crashes followed as Mrs. Kuso judo-tossed the robber across the hall.

Ban jumped on his bike and cycled like there's no tomorrow, barreling down the road like only a road hog could and causing multiple accidents along the way; pedestrians being ran over by his bike, motorcycles and cars skidding wildly about the busy road and onto sidewalks, buses breaking hard and lurching passengers into one another like sardines- all to avoid him.

"Watch it, you numbskull!"

"What have you done to my car?"

"Get this punk out of here!"

"You ran over my dog, you runt!"

Despite the loud commotion, Ban carried on until he reached the park, leaving a trail of destruction that one could find in a Grand Theft Auto game. At the fountain center, he saw two kids waiting for him.

"What the heck?" the smallest kid, Acryra. "What are you trying to do with your bike?"

"I know. Cool, huh?" Dan snorted with pride at their reaction to his new bike- a regular bike decorated with green neon lights throughout its frame, spinners on the rims, a large spoiler at the rear, an extra racing seat behind the rider's, a tank connected to two sporty exhaust pipes, and a disco ball atop Ban's head.

"Who's that big guy?" Ban asked as he leaped off his bike, which in turn fell over to its side with a loud thud.

"The name's Shutit, Acryra's big brother, and I'm gonna kick your ass for beating my little bro."

"It's all part of Hackugan. I'm the better player and that's it."

"Not when you socked me in the jaw after your win!" Acryra complained.

Ban groaned. "Like I said, a mosquito landed on your jaw so I took care of it!"

"Enough talk! You're going to pay regardless, and the best way to do that is to beat you in a game of Hackugan."

"Fine by me, but I must warn you I'm still unbeaten in Hackugan."

"Not anymore, Ban," Shutit rebuked.

"Nuh-uh." Ban waved his finger while shaking his head.

"Uh-uh." Shutit nodded his head.

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-uh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-uh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-uh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-uh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-uh."

"Okay, let's get the battle started now!" Acryra barged in hastily, screaming.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Both players took out their card and yelled, "Hackugan, Field open!"

Time slows down as the power of their cards took over the field. Soon, everything stopped like a clock out of battery; flying birds paused in mid-flight, a running jogger about to step on dog poo, a basketball player in the middle of a slamdunk gone horribly wrong, a dodgeball player reacting to getting hit in the groin.

Everything except the two kids.

"Gate Card, set!" Both players tossed their card onto the ground and they enlarged to the size of a tennis court.

"My move, Hackugan, brawl!" Shutit cried as he tossed his marble-sized Hackugan onto the field nearest to Ban. "Hackugan, stand!"

The ball popped open and out sprung a creature called Mantrees, a mantis with trees for its arms.

MANTREES. POWER LEVEL 330G.

"Big deal," Ban scoffed. "Hackugan, brawl! Hackugan, stand!

Like Shutit's, the ball popped open and out sprung a sleeping snake, Sleepinoid.

SLEEPINOID. POWER LEVEL 280G. OBVIOUSLY ASLEEP.

"Haha, your Hackugan's a sleeping beauty. How sweet," Shutit mocked.

"Hey! Now's not the time to sleep! Wake up and battle like a real Hackugan!"

"Mantrees, attack!"

The mantis Hackugan leaped forward and tickled the snake Hackugan with its trees for arms. The Sleepinoid, now pissed from being rudely awaken, proceeded to strangle the Mantrees with its body, yelling something in Hackugan at the Mantrees.

SLEEPINOID POWER LEVEL INCREASE TO 380G, OBVIOUSLY PISSED OFF.

"Whoops, looks like waking Sleepinoid like that wasn't such a a good idea."

"Oh, yeah? Gate Card, open!"

The card where the Hackugans stood glowed and sand enveloped the entire field, catching Ban by surprise.

"Whoah." Ban was stunned at the immense field of sand that covered the ground beneath him, more so with the pyramids that formed behind him...along with an oasis, a herd of camels, some coconut trees and a women beach volleyball team.

MANTREES POWER LEVEL INCREASE TO 480G. TOUGH LUCK, BAN.

With its new power level, the Mantrees managed to break free and tickled the Sleepinoid into submission, laughing its way back into ball form.

"Round 1 to me, then," Shutit remarked with a smirk as his Hackugan returned.

"Then let's get it on with round 2. Hackugan, brawl!" Ban threw another Hackugan ball, this time onto his card. "Hackugan, stand!"

A humanoid avian sprouted forth from its ball form.

FELLCONEER. POWER LEVEL 280G.

Shutit threw his Hackugan ball and a crab-like creature burst forth.

TERRORLOL. POWER LEVEL 280G.

Ban yelled, "Gate Card, open!"

The Gate Card burst into flames, setting Terrorlol on fire along with Shutit's hair.

"Aaaaaiiieeeeee!"

FELLCONEER POWER LEVEL INCREASE TO 380G. AND I"M ON FIRE TOO.

"Now, take 'em out!"

A single powerful kick was enough to defeat Shutit's Hackugan, and soon they were even.

"That's one a piece," Ban said.

"Grrr, no more Mr. Nice Guy, though technically I was never a nice guy to begin with" Shutit tossed two Gate Cards along with his last two Hackugans, Mantrees and Sourus.

MANTREES. POWER LEVEL 330G.

SOURUS. POWER LEVEL 310G. SMELLS BAD.

Dan replied with the same action.

FELLCONEER. POWER LEVEL 280G.

SOURUS. POWER LEVEL 310G. ALSO SMELLS BAD.

"Let's finish this once and for all!" Shutit cried and proceeded to attack Ban.

"Just bring it!"

It was literally a brawl. While Fellconeer roasts Mantree's trees, the two Sourus were locked in a grapple, their sour aroma poisoning the air around them.

"I'm *hack* not gonna *hack* let you * cough* win..."

"Wanna *choke* bet?"

The two Sourus, unable to break their holds, proceeded to land punches into their opponent's stomach, which both connect in a double whammy that knocked both out (to everyone's relief). But since Mantrees was now unarmed literally, that makes Fellconeer the only Hackugan still standing.

Which means Ban won.

Time resumes to normal, along with the agony that follows it. Shutit sat on the ground, shocked that he was beaten as Ban celebrated like he's just won the Super Bowl.

"Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!"

"Just you wait, Ban. I'll get you next time!" Shutit roared as Ban left the park on his bike, swirling his jacket about and swatting another biker, causing him to lose control and falling into the fountain.

* * *

"Another victory for Ban the man," Ban spoke proudly to his online friends as they looked on lazily.

"Yeah, yeah. We get it. There's never a time when you weren't bragging about your win," Bruno said. "Unless you're in the top ten, I suggest you delay your bragging rights until then."

"Better than someone who wasn't ranked at all," Ban retorted while sticking his tongue out.

"Big deal. Hackugan wasn't really my main thing, you know. To me-" Bruno sighed in content, "-it's all about singing. Wanna hear my new song cover?"

"Uhhh..."

"It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday..."

Everyone immediately muted her cam, sparing their poor eardrums.

"Like, whateverrrrr," Juliet sulked while toying with her newly dyed black hair.

"Ban Kuso!" Alleyes slammed her hands against her keyboard, her eyes like a deranged lunatic. "Have you been secretly dating again?"

"What? No! Of course not!"

"Then who was that girl you're talking to at 5:35:15pm yesterday by the traffic light next to the book store?"

Ban was stunned at her accurate information. "I wasn't dating that girl. She was just asking for directions to the shopping mall. Wait, how did you know about this? You were working at Bruno's family restaurant, wasn't it?"

"It's called a plot hole. There's no need for you or anyone here to know how I watched you, it's just that."

"Don't worry, Alleyes." Maruckus spoke timidly. "If he did cheat on you, I'm gonna whoop his ass all the way to your house."

"Maruckus, we weren't in any relationship to begin with, duh."

"I know." The little spectacled boy then made a failed attempt to mouth his words to Alleyes. "Call me if he did cheat on you."

As Bruno's cam showed her screaming mutely at her screen, Ban wondered, "Is Shunt still in the lead?"

Maruckus nodded. "Yep. He's just beaten another five opponents today, and his shoulder-shunting tally has gone up to four hundred fifty five."

Ban leaned back against his squeaky chair. "No matter. The fact that I'm still unbeaten is good enough for me to be proud of. Soon, I'll take on that Mr. Hotshot himself and steal his spotlight once and for all..."

Meanwhile...

Shunt leaped from rooftop to rooftop like the ninja he was trained to be, panting hard without slowing down his pace.

_Hah, defending my rank is like a joke when battling these amateurs. What I need is a serious challenger, one that understands the powers that lie within Destroia, assuming I can get out of this mess first..._

"You, the ninja wannabe! Stop running this instant! You're gonna be in so much trouble shoulder-shunting the chief police inspector!" a voice blared from a loudspeaker from above.

Regardless, Shunt kept on going as a police helicopter gave chase, its spotlight honed on the boy as more police cars roamed the streets with its sirens blaring into the night. As he was running, his cellphone rang; it was his grandpa.

"Hello?"

"Shunt! What the hell did you do this time?"

"Me? Nothing. Why?"

"Don't lie to me, punk! I'm now watching you live on TV, and I can see cops chasing you!"

Shunt came up with an idea and started making static noises with his lips. "Hello? Psshhshh... I can't hear...Psshshshshh... Call you...Pssshshshhshh..." With that said, he turned off his cell phone and kept on running until he reached the edge of the rooftop; the next building being too far for his jump to reach.

Defiant, he leaped nonetheless and as time slowed down Matrix style, a song came in his head.

_I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the- PONKK!_

Cold steel greeted his face as he landed awkwardly on a street lamp, hanging like a carpet for a moment before slipping off and falling into an open dumpster, the police copter losing sight of him in the process.

_At least I lost them..._ Shunt thought while staring dumbly into the night sky before being slammed in by the dumpster's lid.

* * *

_If only that moron Ban knew what he was doing._

_We Hackugans were not just any game some kid could pick up and play like an action figure. We have a life of our own, damn it! Can you imagine how many Hackugan parents who failed to return home from work because they were picked up and forced into unnecessary battles with their best friend? Or fiancees? Or bosses?_

_We Hackugans lived in six different realms in a place called Destroia; Cubterra- the element of Earth and kids, Rantus- the element of Wind and ranters, Haquos- the element of Water and coughing, Layoffs- the element of Light and the unemployed, Barkus- the element of Darkness and dogs, and Pierus (woohoo!)- the element of fire and pies._

_Mmm...piesssssssss..._

* * *

"Oh. My. God!"

Nag flew about like a hysterical bird, throwing a tantrum that would make the brattiest kid blush. "This place is cooking me up! How on Destroia can someone live in this bloody oven!"

"Nag, wait!"

A red dragon flew in his direction and stopped him in the air. "Don't do this, Nag! Your quest for power must be stopped or it will destroy you!"

"Get out of my way, fool! Your realm is the worst of all the other realms I've been to. I mean, Cubterra have kids I can play with, or Barkus have dogs I can play fetch with. But Pierus, my God, this place is burning my skin up! It's gonna take months getting my skin back to white. Look at your hide, it's all red. You must have severe sunburns and you're not doing a single bloody thing!"

"How dare you mock my beautiful realm of Pierus!" the dragon roared. "Don't you see, this is where all fire Hackugans live in harmony, in peace with our element. And, we have pies to feast on too!"

"They're all overcooked, for crying out loud!" Nag brought up a blackened custard pie which immediately burst into flames.

"Mmm...overcooked piessssss..."

"Enough! I'm sick of this place already. I'm leaving for my ultimate goal and there's not a single thing you can do about it!" Realising the burning pie was still in his claws, he tossed it aside and brought up a card, which he tossed it into the air and a portal opened forth. "Good riddance!"

Nag bolted for the portal as it collapses once he was through.

"Thanks for visiting. Hope you can drop by again," the red dragon waved at the direction he vanished.

_OH, SHUT UP, BRAGONOID!_

* * *

Ban was walking home, carrying his brick of a bag on his aching shoulders, when he was approached by two familiar faces.

"Aww, not again..."

"Yes again, Ban," Shutit remarked. "I want a rematch, unless you want my fist to do the talking for you."

"I see." Ban smirked as he dropped his bag and took out his jacket, revealing a Hulkamania t-shirt underneath it. "Just bring it!"

Before Shutit could move, Acryra halted him. "Wait!"

"What now?"

"I don't think it's a good idea to be fighting out here. I mean, people could be watching this and calling our parents."

"Hmm, you have a point there," Ban agreed

Just then, an idea popped up in their heads, their lips curled into a grin.

"You think what I'm thinking?"

"You bet."

Both Shutit and Ban took out their cards. "Hackugan, Field open!"

Once again, time slowed down to a halt around them as life paused in place; a passing car stopping in its tracks, a cheating fiancee in the middle of a slap by his girlfriend, people cringing in terror at Bruno's cover of "Born This Way" in the subway train.

Once the field was set, Ban and Shutit were ready for their fist fight.

"Remember, any resulting injuries were caused by an unfortunate collision in a bicycle race, deal?"

* * *

_Wow...what a ride..._

Nag exited the portal, feeling as if he has just flown through an '80s electronic music video. Soon, he was where he wanted to be- at the center of Destroia.

"There they are, the cores that hold the world in place; Infinity and Silence. If I can absorb these two cores, I can finally unite with that silly-named human and together, we will conquer both Earth and Destroia! Hahahahahaha!"

Before he could absorb the cores, there was one last thing he wanted to get out of his mind...

"Silent Core? What kind of a name is that? I mean, Infinity Core sounded so much cooler than Silent Core. That name's like so lame to me. Why not something more awesome like Ultimate Core? Or Delta Core? Or how about Krypton Core? Or maybe Celestial Core? Wait, how about Fusion Core? No, maybe-"

Apparently sick of his nagging, the Silent Core decided to drag the bickering Nag into its clutches as the white Hackugan screamed in terror. "No, wait! I'm not done yet! I haven't come up with a cooler name for you!"

The nagging proved too much for the Core and it blew up, sending the Infinity Core away from the center. The resulting collapse caused the realms of Destroia to fall into disarray as all six realms began falling apart. The chaos was unimaginable, like every scene from the 'Blair With Project' film. Hackugans screamed in terror as they tumbled about helplessly.

Meanwhile, on Pierus, the Bragonoid was in the middle of a bet in stuffing as much pies down his stomach when the tremors rocked his realm. Soon, pandemonium erupted around him, just as it's happening right now to the other realms.

But the Bragonoid was surprisingly calm. "Wait, my fellow friends. This could all be just a dream!"

At once, all panic ceased.

"How could you tell?" A stinky Sourus questioned.

"Simple, we'll just test my fact with this." He pulled out a small, metal top.

As all the Pierus Hackugans gathered around him, he spun the top on the pie-covered table. "If it stays spinning for the next two hours, then all this chaos is nothing more but a nightmare. Simple."

It only spun for ninety seconds before wobbling to a halt and falling over.

"Okay...so it's not a dream then."

Panic resumed once more in the most abrupt of fashion.

Just then, a Barkus Hackugan, Dripper, burst through the sky and confronted the Bragonoid. "What the heck? How on earth a Barkus Hackugan found its way here?"

The Dripper, with sweat pouring down from its body like rain, lunged once more at the Bragonoid and they both tussled in a grappling match.

* * *

"Chubby loser!"

"Spiky psycho!"

"Biggest moron!"

"Goggle cliche!"

Acryra watched on as Ban applied a head lock on Shutit who countered with an arm lock on Ban. As their fight raged on, energy waves burst through the field and without warning two Hackugans burst through the scene, tussling just like them; one was drenched in sweat, the other was bathed in sweat, whichever way they saw it. Seeing the fighting Hackugans, both Ban and Shutit broke off and jumped aside.

"Whoah! What's going on here?" Ban questioned aloud.

"Get off me, you sweaty freak! You're drenching my hide!"

The red dragon then kicked the Dripper off him and proceeded to open fire on it. "Boosted Dra-burp!"

A fireball burped forth from the Bragonoid's mouth, bits of pie from his stomach followed suit as it struck the Dripper in a fiery explosion. Beaten, the Barkus Hackugan plummeted to the ground where Shutit and Acryra were standing.

Realising he couldn't flee in time, Shutit merely pulled out a sign saying 'Eep' before being squashed by the Hackugan's weight.

Time returned to normal eventually- along with the misery that followed suit- as Ban stood shell-shocked at what transpired seconds ago. On his feet was a lone Hackugan ball, the sound of uncontrollable burping emanating from it like a melody.

"Holy cow! That was awesome!"

Ban picked up the ball as more burping echoed from it. "A Bragonoid! This is one lucky day for me! Catch you later, Shutit."

As Ban ran off, Shutit and Acryra remained lying in a crater in the sidewalk, stunned and battered by the impact.

"Can someone please call an ambulance? I think I broke my coccyx..."

* * *

"Yo! Anybody home? Helloooooooo?"

For the past thirty minutes, Ban tried unsuccessfully to get his new Hackugan to talk. "I know you can talk, buddy, 'cuz I just heard you talk back there even if it's just two words...make that one and a half."

Silence.

Tired, Ban then took out a loudspeaker from under his desk and yelled at it at maximum volume, "CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORD THAT IS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?" The resulting yell caused his mum to drop her plates, his dad to fell off his working chair and his neighbour to ruin his delicate canvas artwork.

Still silence, except for a little burp.

"Hmm, I thought I really heard you spoke. Oh well, must've been my ears hearing stuff."

Placing the Hackugan on his desk, he remarked, "Since you're a Bragonoid, I shall call you...errr...let me see..."

Ban pondered for possible names for his new Hackugan. "Lassie? Nope. Draco? Nah. Cuddlefuzz? Nope. Derpy? Nope. Godzilla! Nope. Alien? Nuh-uh. Fudgeface? Nope. Teletubby...

_Jeez, does this kid ever shut up?_

"Ahh, what the heck, I'll just call you Brago since you're already a Bragonoid to begin with." Ban left Brago on the desk as he joined his online friends at the chat site.

"Hey, guys. You wouldn't believe-"

"BAN KUSO!" Alleyes screamed at her cam, nearly sending Ban to the floor. "Have you been secretly dating again?"

"Whah? What are you talking about?"

"I know you were talking to a girl outside your house at 10:01:19am."

"That was just a girl scout selling cookies to my mum. Serious!"

Alleyes glared at him, convinced but still suspicious as she pointed to her eyes and then the screen. "I have my eyes on you."

Despite feeling freaked out a little, he carried on with his news, "Anyway, you wouldn't believe what just happened earlier. I was figh-brawling with Shutit when a Bragonoid came out of nowhere and help me defeat him. And, he also talks to me!"

"Whateverrrrr," Juliet replied while applying her black make-up under her eyes.

"What? You too?" Bruno asked surprisingly.

"What do you mean by that, Bruno?"

Maruckus came online soon, a cotton jammed between his teeth and his face covered in various bruises and swellings. "Hhi ghuysz."

"Like, what happened to you, man," Juliet asked.

"Oh, jush ehnothszer zay in zhe life of a brahler. It'z a nohm foh mhe."

"Rrrright..."

Bruno replied back to the topic. "You should check out the main website. Everyone else is also talking about the same thing."

Ban went to the main website and true to Bruno's word, a talking Hackugan became the hot topic of the day.

"My Hackugan talks back to me. Awesome!"

"God, my Hackugan sounded so monotone like HAL9000!"

"What the heck? My Hackugan called me a no-good trash-talking piece of-"

"My Hackugan sounded like Freddy Krueger. Should I be very worried?"

"Save me, please! My Hackugan can't stop singing 'Who Let the Dogs Out?'! Save meeeee!"

"My Hackugan talks. I'd better spin my top..."

Ban was stunned at the massive attention to the point the main website crashed and he was kicked out of the chat room.

_So...this wasn't a dream all along. Wait a minute, are all my old toys going to return and confront me for dumping them in the attic? Oh, shit..._


	2. Chapter 2

******A/N: Thanks for those who followed my derpy spoof. ;) Now just to let you all know first that I will not be spoofing every episode in the series but only key scenes that contribute to the main storyline. That way the spoof will be more direct to the point and not convoluted like, say, 'Disaster Movie'?  
**

**Anyway, on with the next chapter.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

That night, Ban slept with a hammer clutched close to his chest, preparing for a showdown he imagined would looked something like 'Toy Story' meets 'Kill Bill'. Instead, all he heard were the sounds of barfing coming from his window, which raised his tension to paranoid level.

_Oh God, Oh God,Oh God,Oh God,Oh God,Oh God..._

The next morning he woke up relieved to find no army of angry old toys waiting at the foot of his bed, though he was baffled at the pool of barf around Brago's ball, which smelled strongly of digested pie.

"Oh well, must've been those pesky rats again..."

* * *

At school Ban showed of his newest asset to all his classmates, some of which were already hatching heists that would put the Ocean's 11 gang to shame.

"Lemme see that!"

"Hey, is that the Hackugan I've been reading about on the Web?"

"Yep," Ban spoke proudly. "Feast your eyes on the one and only Brago!"

'Oooohhhs' echoed throughout the classroom.

"Is that the one that talks? Make it say something, anything."

"Mine hasn't said a single word yet, not even a profanity!" one kid grumbled. "Or are you just cooking up lies?"

"Of course not, you fool! I can prove it to you!" Ban stood on his chair and raising his Hackugan up, he yelled, "Hackugan, stand!"

Silence.

"Hmm, maybe you need some sort of magical word to wake him?" A girl suggested.

"Good idea! Here goes!" Ban cleared his throat and cried, "Abra Kadabra!"

Silence.

"Transform!"

Silence.

"Hulk smash!"

Silence.

"Wingardium leviosa!"

Silence.

"Brago, I choose you!"

Cricket chirping came out instead.

"Hmm..." All the kids were glaring at him like lions eyeing a deer.

"Oh, come on! What the heck is wrong with you?" Ban cried as he did his best to strangle the little ball.

"Forget Brago, Ban. Have you completed your homework?" One kid asked.

"Yeah, 'cuz if you didn't, Miss Purdy's gonna lock you in one of her dreaded WWE submission locks."

"I know!" Ban acknowledged. "That's why I finished it, thanks to something called the Internet."

All the kids eyes went wide, and all hell broke loose.

"BORROW US YOUR HOMEWORK! WE HAVEN'T FINISHED OURS!" Every kid in the classroom lunged at him like a hungry lion, tackling Ban down and dropping Brago on the floor. While everyone was focused on trying to get Ban's homework, their feet always found Brago, stomping non-stop regardless of where he was.

"Oww! Quit it!"

"Hey, stop kicking me!"

"My gorgeous crests! What have you done to my crests!"

"Woooaaahhh! My crotch!"

Finally, Brago managed to roll out of the stampede...only to be picked up by another individual.

"Who brought marbles into my class?"

The kids broke off upon hearing the commanding voice, leaving a beaten Ban to stagger to his feet; his bag torn into pieces.

"Ban, is this yours?"

"Huh?" Upon seeing Brago in Miss Purdy's fingers, he shrieked like a girl before shutting his mouth with his hands. "Mmm, nope?"

"I see. Please see me after class."

Ban shrieked like a girl again.

"I just want to treat those nasty wounds of yours."

Ban sighed with relief.

"Oh, and also for bringing marbles into the class."

Ban shrieked like a girl yet again.

* * *

"Remember, students, when approaching a math problem, ask yourself 'What would Bart Simpson do?'..."

_How did I get myself into this predicament?_ Brago groaned in annoyance and pain while being left under Ban's desk, joining the many cobwebs, rat skeletons, broken Micro Machine toys and wood worms that had found their way in. _Somehow I must find a way to move freely in this world. But time is running out, because Destroia is in danger thanks to Nag, and only I can stop him. Me! Me! Me! If only-_ he groaned again as he tried to make his move, to roll out of Ban's desk and towards freedom, _-I can make this work!_

As he pushed on harder than before, he felt his effort paying off and soon he was free!

_Yes, yes, yes! At last, I can move and freedom is mine for the taking! Haha! Good riddance, Ban! See you in no time soon, spoiled brat!_

_Twitch_...The ball only moved an inch in reality as he remained where he was all the while.

_Damn..._

Brago suddenly felt fingers around him and was soon brought up before Ban. "Aww, man. Your whole body's full of footprints. Let me clean you up."

Ban took out a toothbrush and began scrubbing Brago, eliciting a giggle from the battered Hackugan. A few seconds of scrubbing later, Ban was not satisfied with his handiwork. "Hmm, needs something stronger."

Putting away the toothbrush, he pulled out an electric toothbrush instead. "Hmm, nah. Need something gentler." Putting away the electric toothbrush, he then pulled out a tool resembling a sander but with a round cloth attached to it. "Now this will do the trick!"

Blasting the tool to full power, he proceeded to clean Brago with it despite the incredibly loud noise the tool made.

"WOHOHOWOOWOWOWOHOOOWOO!"

Ban halted the tool, thinking he might have just heard a cry. "Nah, could be one of those unfortunate PE accidents." He resumed with his extreme cleaning of Brago.

"!" Various (and often hilarious) sounds escaped Brago, and he had enough.

Ban was stunned as Brago popped open, his little limbs flailing cutely while yelling at Ban, "QUIT YOUR SCRUBBING, YOU MORON! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY BEAUTIFUL HIDE! IT'S ALL CHAFFED AND BALD THANKS TO YOUR IDIOTIC SCRUBING!"

"I knew it! I knew you can talk all this while!" Ban jumped on his chair and proclaimed with his loudspeaker, "Did you all hear that! Did you? Did you? Huh? Huh? Huh? Brago just spoke to me while I was cleaning him. Did you? Huh? Did you?"

"BAAAAAAANNN!" Miss Purdy yelled at such high pitch every window in the classroom shattered along with every glass apparatus in the science lab, resulting in a small rumble of an explosion from the lab in the lower floor. "No one, and I mean no one-" she raises her half-broken chalk, fingers trembling with rage, "-causes me to break my chalk in class."

The chalk in her hand shattered from the teacher's tight grip as she announced, "Detention for the rest of the semester!"

Ban shrieked like a girl once again, a pause filled the silent classroom after that debacle.

"LOOOOOOOSSEEEERRRR!" Brago took the opportunity to taunt the idiot.

Another silence as frightened eyes looked about upon hearing the disembodied voice.

"Ghooooooossssst!"

The resulting claim sent panic throughout the classroom as every student bolted for the door, screaming and crying in terror.

"I knew this class was haunted in the first place!"

"It's the ghost of the last-placed kid, Larry!"

"You're talking about me, you bozo!"

Soon, the classroom was emptied out, leaving only Ban and Brago alone.

"You see, guys and girls! I knew he can talk all this while! Did you hear that? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

* * *

"Thanks to Brago, he ruined my entire semester," Ban muttered to his online friends.

"Gee, I'm sorry for your unfortunate luck, Ban," Alleyes said with a wary look in her eyes at Ban.

"Chill out, I'm cool actually, since the school is now closed for the rest of the year." Ban cracked his fingers and leaned back relaxingly. "The principal's sending in paranormal investigators to check out the so-called 'paranormal activity'."

"By the way, man, where's Brago?" Juliet spoke soberly.

"Oh, don't worry about him. I made sure he has the right punishment for that fiasco in school."

Meanwhile, in the refrigerator...

"B-b-baa-aa-aaan-nnn! Ooh, is that a custard pie?"

"Speaking of Brago, do you know that Bruno and Juliet have their own talking Hackugan now?" Maruckus informed.

"Really? Cool! Show us, girls," Alleyes said with excitement.

"Yeah, show us or I'll post false rumors about you dating Eminem on the Internet," Ban said pleadingly.

"Okay," Bruno acknowledged with a wink as she went off-screen for a moment before reappearing, "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like you all to meet my new BFF..."

"But I thought I'm your BFF!" A Terrorlol cried from inside a chained-up music box.

Suddenly, a black object appeared and blocked out her cam from view. "Ta-daa!"

As her online friends watched lamely at her black screen, Juliet spoke, "Bruno, you're screen's like gone dark."

"Whoops, sorry." The blackness faded back as she revealed her new Hackugan. "Ta-daa!"

Once again, all her online friends watched lamely. "Bruno...it's a Layoffs Hackugan...with a giant afro wig." Ban cocked his head, learning the cause of the black screen moments earlier.

"Greetings, my little monsters," the afro-wigged Hackugan spoke. "I'm Tigaga, and I was once a fashion singer before being laid-off."

Everyone gasped in excitement, when a new screen popped open with a stranger's face on it. "Oh my God! I can't believe I'm seeing this! I'm a huge fan of your songs-"

Everyone blocked his profile instantly as Juliet inquired, "Dude, what's with the afro, man?"

"This? Oh, that's my style. I always appear in public in various outrageous costumes. Wait till you see how many more I got in my crib!"

"Uh, right..." Maruckus looked on weirdly. "How about you, Juliet?"

"Well," the black-dyed-haired girl looked about, pretending to not know where her Hackugan was. "I'm not sure about this. He is a bit of a jerk, like, really jerky."

"Aww, come on, Juliet," Ban pleaded.

Juliet sighed. "Fine. I'll be back in a while." She went off-screen and left her room.

Moments later, they could hear voices coming from outside her room. "Whoah, man. Slow down, you're making me *hic* seasick here, man. Hey, where's my *hic* stash of rum..."

Juliet returned soon with her Cubterra Hackugan. "People, meet Gorrum. Gorrum, meet people."

"Wazzup, peeps," Gorrum greeted in a sober fashion, hiccuping all the way. "My name is Gorrum Von Jor-El, and I came from *hic* Neverland. Should I show them the tattoo on my-"

Juliet covered him up, resulting in muffled words.

Everyone looked on with an equally weird look on their faces, unsure how much weirder things can get (in this spoof).

"O-kay, so Juliet's Hackugan is an intoxicated drunk, and Bruno's Hackugan is a drag queen," Ban summarised. "Geez, are all Hackugans really that weird?"

"Like, whatever, man," Juliet snorted as she placed Gorrum on her desk, the Hackugan rolled about in a drunken manner before falling off the desk on to a kitty litter box.

"What about you Maruckus? Looks like you're the only one left without a talking Hackugan," Ban said.

"I know, but I'll get one soon, even if it means drawing a face on a volleyball and naming it 'Wilson'. Hehehehe..."

"Hey, guys, check this out!" Alleyes said alarmingly. "Looks like someone has finally taken over Shunt's place at the top of the Hackugan board! And he wasn't even ranked in the first place."

"What?" The others yelled simultaneously, causing Alleyes to fall off her chair and dragging her webcam down as her cam showed scenes that would resemble a tornado's interior.

"How is that possible? Shunt has been number one ever since the game started!" Ban said.

Maruckus informed, "Beats me, Ban. According to rumors circulating the Net, some said Shunt was arrested for assaulting a police chief. Others said he just gave up on Hackugan and started cosplaying as Naruto in every cosplay convention."

"Whoah, this doesn't make sense at all. Something must be wrong here."

"By the way, Alleyes, who's this new number one?" Bruno queried as Alleyes, cursing very loudly, staggered back to her seat and placing her camera back in its place. "Humph, right. I've done some research on this new dude; his name's Maskuerade and he has some wicked tricks up his sleeve."

"Like?"

"Like sending beaten Hackugans away for good. Every kid who fought him ended up losing all their Hackugans, and massive numbers of police reports were already lodged against him by those poor kids."

Upon hearing Alleyes' information, Ban got up angrily and demanded, "That creep is ruining our game! Where was he last seen?"

"Hmm, according to one Brawler, he was last seen in a place called Camp Crystal Lake, wearing a hockey mask."

"Are you sure it's the right guy?" Juliet asked.

"Ermm, no idea. The Brawler's last post was a week ago."

"What about his profile? He must have stated something about his hometown," Ban pondered.

"No good. He stated his hometown as 'Somewhere'."

"So, he refused to reveal his whereabouts, eh? If he refuse to bring his battle to me, then I'll bring mine to him!"

"But, what if you lose?"

"I will never lose, that's a guarantee."

"You do realise he's unbeaten too. And unlike you, he's number one."

"We'll see about that!" Ban remarked through gritted teeth, standing proudly atop his chair. "Because no one but me should beat Shunt to the number one spot. This Maskuarade dorkus is going down hard!"

"Ban?" Ms. Kuso entered his room with a frozen, pie-covered, shivering-blue Brago. "I found your Hackugan in the refrigerator. Was this your doing?"

"Y-yeah. It was a hot day, so I stuff him inside to cool down."

If Brago could talk, he would be screaming his head off now. "Okay then. Oh, and also, did you eat my entire custard pie?"

Ban shook his head, surprised. "No."

"Hmm, must've been your dad again then."

* * *

"Drats, I've been scanning through Google Maps and there's no such place as Somewhere!" Ban lamented. "Looks like it's up to plan B."

Ban went to his cobweb-covered book shelf and took out two books- one on the world atlas and the other on the solar system; still he failed to find the mysterious place 'Somewhere'.

"Drats, looks like it's up to plan A now."

Turning on his webcam, he yelled at it at a frightening tone. "Hey, Maskuarade! I'm sick and tired of your bullying-"

A stranger's face appeared on-screen. "WTF? Who the hell are you?"

"Oh, sorry." Ban closed the stranger's cam and thought he found the one he's looking for.

"Hey, Maskuarade! I'm sick and tired of your bullying-"

A familiar face appeared on-screen. "Ban, it's me, you moron!" Bruno yelled.

"Whoops, my bad." Ban closed Bruno's cam and calmed himself down. "Okay, Ban. I know you're upset at this creep, but you must stay focus and find his profile..." He clicked on another one.

"Hey, Maskuarade! I'm sick and tired of your bullying-"

Another stranger's face appeared on-screen. "Do you know who you're talking to, punk? My name's Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I'm gonna whoop your ass all over Texas-"

Face-palming, he yelled like a maniac at the next cam, "Aaaaaarrrrggghh! Maskuarade, your bullying days are soooo over! You hear me? The name's Ban Kuso and I'm challenging you to a brawl, and I don't care what kind of mask you're gonna wear for the battle! Winner takes all, and the loser...uhh...will do the groceries."

"Pffffffff! Hahahahaha!" A cynical laugh erupted from where Brago was. "That was pathetic!"

"Keep it down, Brago. You're going to embarrass me in- wait, did you just call me pathetic?"

"Listen, punk. I'm not your toy, or anyone's. We Hackugans have a life too. Let me ask you, is this all just a game to you humans?"

Ban smoothly replied, "Well, duh! We have to come up with something new to do or we're gonna get sucked into the cliches of pop culture- Justin Bieber, Angry Birds, Twilight, planking. Think about it, once Hackugan becomes the greatest kids game of all time, we're gonna be millionaires out there! I mean, imagine all the merchandise we can sell out there- action figures, clothes, cereals, pepper sprays. The possibilities' endless here!"

"Yo? Which part of 'we Hackugans have a life too' don't you understand? I'm talking about Hackugan parents going to work or kids going to school only to find one of them failing to come home for dinner while the missing ones were forced into pointless battles! Imagine if humans were to be used like that!"

An image began forming in Ban's mind upon hearing Brago's point...

* * *

_Four Hackugans stood facing each other._

_"Human, Field set!"_

_"Gate Card, set!"_

_All four Hackugans threw their ball. "Human, brawl! Human, stand!"_

_A brilliant glow formed and four humans leaped forth._

_"The Champ is here!"_

_"Why you little...!"_

_"I am your father."_

_"Get over here!"_

_All four humans collided in a flurry of stars and colours soon after..._

* * *

"Ho, wow! That was awesome, man! I never imagined brawling could be that cool and fun before, like a real life Super Smash Bros. Brawl! Thanks for the motivation, Brago. From now on I shall brawl like never before, in the name of Hackugan glory! That's for you, you know?

"Umm, Brago? Where are you going?"

The Hackugan ball rolled off the desk in a huff towards the bathroom. "I'm going to flush myself down the toilet, rather than being with you!"

"Aww, that would be soooo cute." Ban turned to his wireless webcam and headed for the bathroom.

* * *

Inside a convenience store's store room, Maskuarade watched on at Ban's demand for a challenge. _Well, well, Ban Kuso. Looks like you've just earned yourself a fight for your Hackugan's life...and my Facebook's 'Like'._

Maskuarade's lips curled into a wicked smile before bursting in a fit of laughter. "Hahahahahaha! Oh, my God! That's soooooo cute and adorable! That's why I'm liking you on Facebook!"

On his screen was a live-stream video of Brago trying vainly to lift the closed toilet lid, his little limbs pulling cutely on the lid as Ban giggled from behind the camera. The Hackugan tugged and heaved noisily out of breath, and even jumped on the lid like an angry Donald Duck, emitting more laughter from Ban.

"Ban! This isn't funny! I'm dead serious about flushing myself down the toilet! I mean it! BAAAAAANNNNN!"

Maskuarade laughed so hard he fell over his chair, rolling on the floor laughing out loud as the store's customers stared about weirdly.

* * *

To Brago's dismay, his theatrics wasn't only beamed live on the Internet, it became a Youtube viral hit, reaching a million views and 'Likes' by the end of the day. That and he was still unable to lift the toilet lid; Ban made sure of that by duck-taping it shut.

The next day, he finally got the answer he expected from Maskuarade, and boy, was he excited!

"I'm coming for you, Maskuarade!" Ban yelled as he kicked his house door down and bolted for the streets, running like a kid high on sugar and caffeine. Along his journey, everyone in his path was never untouched; businessmen being shoved against the wall, school students knocked over, an entire rugby game ruined by him tripping a player on the verge of a winning touchdown, and his zebra-crossing crossing left cars piled on the sidewalks like a scene from a demolition derby.

After all the unnecessary carnage, he finally reached his meeting point- a construction yard.

There, standing alone in the middle of the empty yard, was a stranger.

"Are you Maskuarade? I'm sooooo going to kick your ass all over the place like Hulk Hogan. After that, I'm going to shove your head down that mobile washroom and flush like-"

"Uhh, I'm just a random messenger," the stranger spoke.

Ban gave a weird look. "...Oh..."

"A message for you by Shutit." He handed the letter over to him before walking off.

Ban opened the envelope and found stacks of paper in it. The first paper reads, _'Ban Kuso! I demand a rematch.'_

"Wha? You again? I thought we're done here already! I've beaten you fair and square!" Ban spoke to the paper.

An arrow at the bottom prompted him to switch to the next paper. This one reads, _'I know. That's why I wanted a rematch.'_

"But you're in the hospital."

The next paper reads, _'Then meet me in my room at Room 76 and we'll have a brawl there.'_

Realising something bizzare, he flipped to the next paper.

_"Hey, don't flip over without saying something.'_

He flipped again.

_'Hey, I'm warning you!'_

He flipped again.

_'I still haven't got my reply yet, Ban.'_

He flipped again.

_'Don't you dare chicken out on me, Ban!'_

He flipped again.

_'Stop flipping over without saying anything!'_

He flipped again.

_'Are you dumb? Or do you want me to write in Greek?'_

He flipped again.

_'Don't you dare frown like that, or I will write in Greek!'_

"Get lost."

_'No, you-'_

A coffee stain covered the rest of the paper.

_'Sorry, I've spilled my coffee. Now about that battle- hey, don't you dare tear-'_

Ban got tired and tore the paper to shreds before stuffing it down the nearest mobile bathroom.

"That's a relief."

Soon, Ban was confronted by another stranger; this one has blonde, spiky hair and was wearing a mask with huge visors that covered his face. "Are you Ban Kuso?"

"You...you must be Maskuarade!"

"Indeed," Maskuarade smirked. "I've heard about your challenge and it's just too tempting for me to ignore it, especially when I have the chance to prove to you how clueless you are about Hackugans."

"Shut up, you bully! I've heard about you stealing kids' Hackugans during battle and I'm not going to let you get away with this," Ban scolded. "Time to see how good you really are!"

"Bring it."

Ban and Maskuarade engaged in a serious stare-down, their eyes unblinking as Ban's teeth gritted hard...

"But first, how did you get hair like that?" Ban asked, frowning at his inability to understand his opponent's baffling appearance. "Did you use like a liter of hair gel every day?"

"That, and a Van de Graaff generator," Maskuarade explained. "It's as tough as a sword."

"Really?" Ban asked skeptically as he took out an apple and tossed it on to Maskuarade's spiky hair; the fruit ended up skewered by it.

"Whoah!" Impressed, he then took out a cucumber and did the same thing; it ended up in half.

"Wicked!" Next he took out a wrench and threw at it; the tool bounced off with a '_pwing'_.

"Awesome!" He then revealed a watermelon...

"Don't push it," Maskuarade halted him.

Ban muttered. "But-"

"No."

"Aww, come on!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Just this once-"

"No."

"I promise I'll ditch the anvil after this."

"No."

Ban's face fell at the denial.

"Please?"

"Is our battle on or not?" Maskuarade switched topic and hurriedly took out his card, more eager than Ban to start their fight.

"Right, you got it!" Ban hurled the watermelon away as it flew and hit a cyclist, causing her to crash into a post box.

"Hackugan, Field open!"

Time stopped around them as they entered the arena, in which Ban found himself in awe. "Whoah!"

Instead of the usual arena, the field now resembled more like a beach during a summer holiday; surfers riding the wave on their surfboard, women playing beach volleyball with the men, children building sand castles.

"Surprised? See how clueless you are about Hackugan?"

Ban wasn't hearing Maskuarade's words, instead staring at the bikini-clad women sunbathing under the hot sun...

"Yo? Time to battle!"

"Oh, right."

"Gate Card, set!"

A crowd was already forming around them as the cards were set on the ground.

"Hackugan, brawl!" Ban tossed a Sleepinoid on to the ground. "Hackugan, stand!"

SLEEPINOID. POWER LEVEL 330G. STILL ASLEEEP

As the sleeping snake popped up, Maskuarade dropped a card which sank into the ground. Then, he moved. "Hackugan, brawl! Hackugan, stand!"

A Barkus Hackugan popped open and a dragon-like Hackugan appeared on the field. "Say hello to the next Ultimate Hackugan, Hibragnoid!"

HIBRAGNOID. POWER LEVEL 450G. OMG, HE'S GORGEOUS.

"A thousand hellos from the most awesome, most handsome, most exciting Hackugan of all time!" The Barkus Hackugan barked out his greeting, waving his claws at the crowd.

"Hi!" The crowd responded, waving back at him.

"I once saved a Hackugan girl by beating up all ten of her attackers!"

"Ooooohhhh," the crowd responded in awe.

"Lame!" Ban retorted, resulting in jeers from the crowd. "Time for action. Sleepinoid, attack!"

The Sleepinoid snored loudly instead.

"Hibragnoid, finish him!"

"With pleasure!" With a single swat of his tail, the Sleepinoid flew away; a dark portal opening up in the process as it gobbled the still-snoring Hackugan before closing up.

"What the?"

"Wrong Hackugan, Ban. Sleepinoid always wait for an opponent's Hackugan to attack first, not a brilliant idea against Hibragnoid."

"Ooh, yeah! First victory point for me and Maskuarade!" Hibragnoid bragged while putting on a pair of shades.

"Grrrr!" Ban growled as he threw his Sourus ball. "Hackugan, stand!"

SOURUS. POWER LEVEL 460G. SMELLS LIKE TURNIP.

The sour-smelled Hackugan appeared, smelling more awful as before and resulting in several people in the crowd to barf in disgust.

Maskuarade merely smirked at his opponent as he slipped out a card.

Holding his nose hard, Ban said, "I've got you now! Go finish him, Sourus!"

As the dinosaur Hackugan charged forward, Maskuarade made his move. "Ability Card, activate. Breath of Eau De Toilette!"

Hibragnoid burped a cloud of perfume vapour at his stinky opponent who was instantly stunned by the fragrant aroma clinging around. The Hibragnoid stepped aside as the Sourus missed his mark before being tripped over by the Barkus Hackugan's tail, causing him to destroy a beautifully-carved sand castle.

"Waaaaaahhhhh!" The kids cried at their destroyed work. "You big meanie! Get 'em, kids!"

As the kids pummel the fallen Sourus with their adorable toys, the Hibragnoid grabbed his fallen opponent and tossed it into the portal, much to the chagrin of Ban.

"That's a century of Hackugans tossed into the Gloom Dimension for me!"

"Ooooohhh," the crowd replied in awe again.

"No fair! Why are you removing all my Hackugan away! It's only a game!"

"A game? Who says it's a game?" Maskuarade replied calmly. "Everything you see and feel here is real, like that ice-cream you're slurping now."

Ban stared dumbly at Maskuarade with the ice-cream held close to his lips. _Drats, if I knew it I would've bought chocolate instead of strawberry..._

Tossing it aside, he demanded, "Give me back my Hackugans or I'll call the cops on you!"

"No can do. Once a Gloom Card is played, the battle is over regardless of any ability cards played at the time. I like to call it the 'Deus Ex Machina Move'."

"He's right." Brago appeared next to Ban. "Once a Hackugan was sent to the Gloom Dimension, they can never return again, unless they play their part on the other end."

"So that's how kids are losing their Hackugans when battling you!"

"Yes, and that's why even if I'm arrested the cops can't charge me for something I didn't keep in my room."

Gritting his teeth, he grabbed Brago, his last Hackugan and asked, "You ready Brago?"

"Uhh, no?"

"Good. Hackugan, brawl!"

"But I'm not ready to die yeeeeeeeeeet!" Brago screamed as tears streamed out the ball like a waterfall.

"Hackugan, stand!"

"Damn you, Ban..." Brago muttered as he popped open and burst into the air.

BRAGONOID. POWER LEVEL 420G. LIKES PIES.

"Take him down now!"

"Boosted Dragon!" Brago launched a fireball at Hibragnoid who ducked easily and the flaming projectile flew overhead, blowing up a row of changing cubicles in the process.

"Yo! What the hell, man?" A man in his underpants yelled from the burning cubicles as several women fled the scene screaming, towels wrapped around their bodies.

"Sorry, my bad!" Ban apologised. "Keep on attacking, Brago!"

"Right. Boosted Dragon!" Another fireball flew from his mouth towards the Barkus Hackugan; this time he rolled aside and the fireball missed him again, hitting a barbeque set instead.

"Hey, thanks, mate! I was looking for a way to light my set without a lighter!"

"Enough fooling around!" Maskuarade barked. "Hibragnoid, finish this goof off once and for all!"

"Auragono Revenge!"

"Auragano what?" Brago asked in unison with the crowd, too preoccupied in interpreting its meaning to notice Hibragnoid's attack until it was too late.

"Say bye-bye to your- what?"

Maskuarade and Hibragnoid were stunned that the attack failed to bring Brago down, who was still in the air trying to interpret the baffling meaning that was 'Auragano Revenge'.

"Hmmmmmmm..." Brago's face twisted into a big frown as he thought deep. "Why was it named like that? Who's Auragano? Why can't I stop thinking about this?"

Unbeknownst to him, Brago's body suddenly glowed red as he thought even deeper than ever before, his face looked as if it was about to implode. "What does it actually mean?"

His mind was beginning to swirl with colours, so deep in thought that he was seeing the Teletubbies dancing in his eyes. "Aaaaaaaaahhhh! I can't think of a possible explanation! And I'm seeing Teletubbies everywhere!"

Ban realised that Brago's power level was skyrocketing as he took out an ability card. "Brago, what's wrong? I'm about to-" Ban's ability card shattered into pieces before he could use it. "Noooooo! That costs me 500 bucks, you moron!"

"YAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Brago went bonkers and his glowing red body erupted into a massive firestorm.

Eventually, time returned to normal as the battle ended, leaving Ban totally in shock.

"I ended the battle, in case you didn't realise. Thanks to your Bragonoid, he roasted everything on that beach," Maskuarade remarked, his body covered in black soot and a little fire was burning on one of his hair tip like a candle.

Ban remained silent all the while, staring at a fallen Brago on the ground in front of him.

"I could've sent your Hackugan to the Gloom Dimension too, but I decided otherwise." As Maskuarade walked off, he reminded, "Remember, Hackugan is not just a game. There are wacky dimensions and powers involved. It's a battle that can lead to the destruction of the entire world, and the only way to stop it is to defeat me in battle...Ban, are youlistening to-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Maskuarade jumped at the hysterical cry as Ban unleashed the mother of all tantrums, banging his fists and kicking his legs against the ground like a typical sore loser brat.

"Uhh, Ban?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Ban then jumped to his feet and ran around in circles, tearing at his hair like a sports coach on the losing side.

"Uhh, Ban?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Picking the nearest tool, a sledgehammer, Ban demolished every construction equipment he could reach while screaming like a mad man, including a mobile cubicle.

"Uhh, Ban?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Ban ran off from the scene, still screaming his head off before disappearing behind several concrete slabs; a thunderous roar tore through the air.

"So, this Bragonoid, was that his power at the fullest?" Hibragnoid asked, coughing out a cloud of soot.

"No clue, but whatever it is, I will remember Ban Kuso and his Hackugan, Brago. He may have what I'm looking for, but not now," Maskuarade concluded as he stepped aside. "Yep, definitely not now."

"I'M GONNA GET YOU, MASKUARADE!" Ban screamed on as he drove his hijacked bulldozer past Maskuarade, running over the fence bordering the construction yard and into the streets. From then on, mass pandemonium ensued as horns blared in panic, pedestrians screamed in terror, bricks crumbled in a thunderous pile, and police sirens rang in pursuit.

"You, in the bulldozer, pull over now!" The police loudspeaker warned.

"TRY ME!"

Maskuarade could only watch on at the trail of destruction left by Ban's temper tantrum, reminiscent to any action scene from a Michael Bay film.

Shaking in terror, he took out a notebook and scribbled. "Note to self, hire bodyguards for protection."

"But I'm your bodyguard, your guardian Hackugan," Hibragnoid reminded.

Maskuarade re-noted again. "Note to self, hire bodyguards that are _physically-intimidating_ for protection."

"I'm physically-intimidating!"

Maskuarade re-noted yet again. "Note to self, hire bodyguards that are physically-intimidating _without meeting Ban in battle _for protection."


End file.
